Minnesota Nice

I am not a drunk. I diagnosed myself recently. In the life of every person trying to survive the battle, we all probably take inventory from time to time to see if we like what we see of ourselves.

I have been struggling with an identity problem all my life. I believe it may stem from the fact that since my childhood I have been enamored with the opposite sex because they have no penis. To deal with my anxiety for this condition, I modeled my behavior to be like that of a hell raiser and decided to start drinking at the age of two.

After suffering two serious concussions prior to my 8th birthday, my penchant for drinking manifested itself in my actions at the four elementary beehives that I attended as a youth. It was there that I learned how nice children could be when they were all fasting without dope to eat.

The rest of my story is a blur of miscalculated confusion. Now, I am at the tipping point of deciding whether to try and stay alive for a few extra months by getting my stage 4 colon cancer treated with a 7th operation. Thus being a – Minnesota nice – guy which will allow my medical team and cancer center to pay off some of the bills they have accumulated during the Covid-19 debacle.

Please call my daughter, Anne, at Erik’s Ranch and Retreat here in Minneapolis with any suggestions you may have for what I should do to stop being abused.


*Cross your t’s and dot your i’s appropriately and life will become your pearl bearing oyster. You will find success beyond your imagination as an anal retentive that impresses everyone with a PERFECT approach to living.